Grand Haven Lighthouse

Grand Haven Lighthouse
sunset

Saturday, March 16, 2013

A good day for a change

I had a great day today.  Had brunch I guess you would call it with some of the ladies I graduated from high school with.  It was great seeing them again and I really really enjoyed myself for the first time since I think Art had his first stroke but it was definitely since he has passed away.  Thats what I need to get out and have some fun sitting around here is just making me sad.  I love to be here cause he loved this house so much but staying a prisoner here is not good for me.  No wonder I have been so sad and weepy lately.  I cannot stay locked away from things its not for me.  Hopefully we will do this again soon.  I was hoping for each month and I have even entertained the idea of having them come to the house for wine and cheese or something like that.  I know now I need friends our couple friends do not have anything to do with me now that he's gone.  I guess I make them uncomfortable now as Art was the first of our friends to pass away.  Now is the time to find new friends or rather old friends to make new friends from.  Several of the ladies today are divorced or widowed so we have things in common.  I mean you grieve when you loose a spouse to divorce as well to death I would think.  Course it would depend on the circumstances of the divorce.

Anyway it was good.  Getting ready to plan the trip to DC to take Art home.  I promised him that and I will fulfill my promise although my mother is trying to talk me out of it.  She doesn't get it cause my Dad is here buried in town and she's going there too when her time comes.  I have saved some of his ashes in a small urn here to keep with me always and in a necklace to wear when I want to.  That way some of him is always here where he loved to be.

Now its getting time to forge ahead but to remember to look back always.  He will never be replaced for me.  I will never marry again.  But, I am still to young to just vegetate and continue to grieve.  I need to have fun and find my own way alone now.