Grand Haven Lighthouse

Grand Haven Lighthouse
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Friday, April 15, 2011

Today---------------

Today is once again dreary, cold and ugly.  Where is the sun and warm weather?  I am loosing faith in a lot of things lately.  Over a year now I have been unemployed and looking for a job.  I have applied for more positions that I can count.  And, what have I got to show for it NADA.


I don't know what to do anymore.  I have gotten some interviews and never hear back from the company.  I am getting to the point where I am considering to give up.  Why bother lots of companies won't give me the time of day.  I have a masters degree and cannot land a job.  Its so unfair and I owe lots of money for that degree too.

Hubby and I are not getting along any more.  He is so touchy lately and worried about money I know.  I feel like such a failure.  I am sick to death of this life and yet nothing improves no matter how positive I try to be.   The depression is creeping up on me and I hate it.  The weather has a lot to do with it as well.  I'm tired of being broke, of never being able to buy even the smallest thing that I want.  Everything is such a fizzle anymore and I don't know what to do.  I have prayed, kept positive thoughts and keep trying  but for what.

 The latest slap in the face was this week.  Last week I interviewed for a job in a small town  about 20 minutes west of Home.  They said they would be calling the winning candidate this week and so far I haven't had a call.  This was a need someone asap job.  Today is Friday so I am out of the running for that job.  Sent three more resumes out today but I''m not sure why I did.  I just know they wont contact me at all.

Nothing is working for me I have had bad luck for the past year and it doesn't seem to be getting any better.  I do not know what to do anymore.

4 comments:

  1. I wish I could reach across the miles and give you a hug. And warm weather. And a job.
    I have not been in your situation, so I cannot say I understand your feelings. But I do understand depression, way too well, and my heart goes out to you.
    Please try and hang in there. I know that God has something special for you, but I just don't know what it is and when it will happen.
    But you are a loving, giving person. And life is so much better with you in it.

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  2. Aww, Penny, I too know depression. It is relentless. It never gives up and it never goes away. But that doesn't mean you can't have joy in your life. If you fight it, you can still look for the good things. Even if it's just a beautiful flower in the yard, you have to look for the good in things and not lose hope. Try to keep your chin up, and know you are loved. You will find something eventually. You just don't know when, and you can't afford to give up hope. If I could give you some of my hope, I would. I live for the little things. Fifteen minutes to stitch at the end of the day. A few minutes petting Yes Dear. A call from a friend. There are good things in your world. But you have to be looking for them!!!

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  3. What can I say? Personally I'd make a pain out of myself and call these companies back as a follow up on the interview.

    I was once out of work for 3 monhts and I recall I couldn't even get a chashier's job anymore because of my education, they saw me as not worth hiring because as soon as I got work in my field I'd be gone... and they're right.


    I don't think this weather is helping anyone, where is spring? I'm tired of being cold, wet. I had to wear my down vest today!!!

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  4. Depression is awful.

    Hang in there.

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