Grand Haven Lighthouse

Grand Haven Lighthouse

Monday, November 19, 2012

Lost So Lost

I'm lost and alone.  He was suppose to be here getting stronger through his physical therapy so that next spring he could get outside and take care of things,  He loved working around the house and he loved this home we created.  He made me promise him I would keep the house.

I'm hollow, empty and I cry myself to sleep every night.  I'm to young to be alone like this and he was to young to go like he did.  We were suppose to have more time together at least another 10 years.  He took part of me with him and I don't know what to do.

Grief counseling starts on Wednesday for  me.  He was my soul mate, my love, my best friend, he said I could read his mind and I often finished his thoughts for him.   His last words to me were I don't want to leave you.  That broke my heart.  We loved each other deeply and were part of each other whether we admitted it or not.  If the circumstances were reversed he would feel that same as me in this position.

I face an empty future, empty of love, empty of touch, no one will ever take his place in my house, in my life, in my love, in my heart.  He is everything to me and always will be.