Grand Haven Lighthouse

Grand Haven Lighthouse

Monday, November 12, 2012

Today is the day we take the left over food that art was receiving when he had his stomach tube.  I have close to 2 cases and all are unopened.  I have bags that they hang with the food in them as well so that it can pump into the persons tube.  We are taking this to the Breslin Cancer Center today to donate to people who cannot afford this food for one reason or another.   All of Arts stuff has gone to the homeless and disadvantaged I feel pretty good about all of that.  But the closet seems so empty now as does the bedroom.  As a matter of fact the whole house is to quiet to empty.

We are forgoing Thanksgiving this year.  We are just going over to my moms for a dinner.  We are having ham and sweet potatoes not anything fancy.  I just dont feel up to it and we dont have much of a family anymore.  Just my mom, me, daughter and grandson.  I always wanted a large family since I was an only child.  I lost my son Josh 15 years ago on Nov 3.  I lost Art on Oct. 31.  I lost my most favorite aunt of all time on Nov 7.  I dont think november likes me much at all.

I really dont have many friends either.  Been kinda solitary and Art was the center of it all.  His kids, my kids, it was wonderful havoc when it happened.  Now Im pretty much forgotten by his family.  Lonely for sure,.  No money to do anything with friends.  Kinda stuck here and now.  I dont know how I am going to over come this money issue.  I am hoping that social security doesnt take a lot of time to sort things out.  I should receive a portion of Arts since I am disabled and we were living together at the time of his death.

Time will tell.