Today is the day we take the left over food that art was receiving when he had his stomach tube. I have close to 2 cases and all are unopened. I have bags that they hang with the food in them as well so that it can pump into the persons tube. We are taking this to the Breslin Cancer Center today to donate to people who cannot afford this food for one reason or another. All of Arts stuff has gone to the homeless and disadvantaged I feel pretty good about all of that. But the closet seems so empty now as does the bedroom. As a matter of fact the whole house is to quiet to empty.
We are forgoing Thanksgiving this year. We are just going over to my moms for a dinner. We are having ham and sweet potatoes not anything fancy. I just dont feel up to it and we dont have much of a family anymore. Just my mom, me, daughter and grandson. I always wanted a large family since I was an only child. I lost my son Josh 15 years ago on Nov 3. I lost Art on Oct. 31. I lost my most favorite aunt of all time on Nov 7. I dont think november likes me much at all.
I really dont have many friends either. Been kinda solitary and Art was the center of it all. His kids, my kids, it was wonderful havoc when it happened. Now Im pretty much forgotten by his family. Lonely for sure,. No money to do anything with friends. Kinda stuck here and now. I dont know how I am going to over come this money issue. I am hoping that social security doesnt take a lot of time to sort things out. I should receive a portion of Arts since I am disabled and we were living together at the time of his death.
Time will tell.
Grand Haven Lighthouse
sunset
Friendship comes in many forms. When I was going through my cancer battle I got far more support from people I never met online than I did from some of my so called person to person friends. I would like you to count me as one of the internet friends. You have gone through so much and I know it seems dark at the moment but it will pass. A day will come where it seems a little easier: it just has to be a step at the time. You have done amazingly well to sort out the food and give things away where there is a need; that is a step. Once the money is sorted out you will have a better idea of what comes next. If you dont hear from them, go and bug them: dont let them fob you off: tell them how scared and desperate you are and make them listen to you. I am sure you are not forgotten by his family: they will be grieving as well and everyone deals with these situations differently. Call them, see how they are. Make the first step. They probably don't want to intrude at this time. Sending you mega hugs over the Irish sea ((((((((hugs)))))))
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