Grand Haven Lighthouse

Grand Haven Lighthouse
sunset

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Wake

I have decided on when I will have the wake for Attila (Art), my husband, my love, my best friend.  It is going to be on Saturday December 1 here at the house.  I cant afford to rent anything and I will have some tiny foods on hand and some wine.  Art loved his wine and beer so perhaps some beer as well.  If they want anything more to drink or eat they can help by bringing something.

I haven't felt like having anything this month,.  I'm still numb I think and I still have issues with him being gone even though I was there when he passed.  I was lucky though to find a love that deep and lasting in my lifetime.  Some look for it and never find it.  He will always be with him due to the love I have for him.  A person dies but love never does.

I received in the mail yesterday some information on groups for widows or widowers.  One meeting is there in the hospital that houses hospice house where art went.  I deffinately will go there its the closest to the house too.  We are very short on money since they took Arts SS away.  I only hope that I can get enough to pay the bills and have some left over.

To bad no one realizes how hurting for money I am.  I used all the savings up paying doctor bills and paying for taking care of him afterwards.  Also we needed to pay for the rental on all the hospital equipment we had here in the house.  But I would not change anything.  I had him home for 3 months before he passed and was able to take care of him for that period instead of him being in another hospital or care facility.

Keep your fingers crossed that some things go my way.  I can use all the prayers, luck, what ever to help me in the months coming up.  I dont want to loose the house right now and I will unload the rental as fast as I can.

I am a survivor but I need some help or luck to get through this for a while.